Friday 25 March 2011

route irish (d loach, w laverty)

So Route Irish is the most dangerous road in the world. Roger? Where better for a commercial black op team to pull a black op? Check. And confirm the intrinsic evilness of the UK-US military industrial enterprise. Which is now being privatised. Check. Iraq is just dust now. Roger. They could sort out Dafur in a matter of weeks. They could rule the world by Christmas. He Has to DO Something about it -
Like what?
Well, he could take up waterboarding.
But that doesn't work.
Yes, but it's dramatically effective?
What?
Here's the scene. Good guy, our man, realises the error of his ways. Goes rogue. Captures bad guy gone rogue. In his 4 Wheel drive. Makes a quip about golf.
Golf?
Then waterboards him. Only it doesn't work.
Nice. Who are you thinking of casting? Pitt? Damon? Chuck Norris?
This is a Ken Loach film.
Oh. Ewan McGregor? Also - will the audience understand all this? I mean, what is Route Irish anyway?
It's the most dangerous road in the world. We'll tell them. We'll make it crystal clear. We'll tell them repeatedly. We'll bomb them with information. This is a counter-intel info war. There will be no let-up. EVERYTHING WILL BE EXPLAINED> SEVERAL TIMES> AND THEN ONCE FOR LUCK>>>
How does it end?
Violently.
Good. What about the Iraqis?
Who?
You know, the Ir-
This is about the war of the industrial-military complex against the whole world! It's more than just the Iraqis! This is about Liverpool!
What?
We'll put in some Iraqis. If we have to.
Dead Iraqis or living Iraqis?
Lots of dead and suffering Iraqis. In grainy 'authentic' footage.
Great. Any, you know - Iraqi - characters?
I told you this is about the military-industrial -
In Liverpool. I know. But isn't Route Irish in -
OK. We'll have an Iraqi.
Good. Otherwise - you know - it won't feel - authentic.
We'll make him a sensitive musician.
Why?
So that the audience root for him.
Great.
Great.
So. How much do you need?
How long is Route Irish?
I don't know. I've never been there.
Don't worry. We're filming in Jordan.
Great. I heard Jordan has great cuisine.
This is a Ken Loach film! It's not about fucking cuisine!
Iraqi cuisine?
OK. OK. He can play some music.
Who.
The Iraqi musician.
Why?
Cultural references.
Great. I love Loach. He's so -
Great?
Real.

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